In praise of Wintering

Last summer, I wrote a manifesto on the importance of unplugging on vacation. I’ve spoken with a few people about that article since, many of whom told me it felt almost impossible to do, including one very successful friend and mentor of mine who spoke with me about his tendency to work while on vacation on his podcast, Seeking the Extraordinary.  I wrote that article because I kept hearing from my coaching clients and friends about vacations spent on conference calls, checking email, or fielding (often, not urgent) questions from colleagues. Why? Isn’t the point to “vacate” work on a vacation?  

Today’s work/life norms, especially for those in leadership roles, implicitly communicate that unplugging fully from work is a radical or selfish act – even though we all understand the restorative power of rest is essential for sustained success and well-being. How can you be energetic and focused at work if you’re not also finding ways to take care of yourself personally? 

I just read Katherine May's book, "Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times," which explores the idea of embracing rest not as an act of weakness, but as a process for rejuvenation that we must all engage in cyclically. It’s a great winter holiday read— and I enjoy the word, “wintering” used as a verb. The book got me thinking about all the small and big ways we can give ourselves much-needed down-time to recharge – and reflecting on my own strategies to stay well-rested and healthy without having to take a vacation or fully unplug.

Intentional and mindful resting

Many people treat resting as something you do in between more important activities; a transition time you don’t think much about. For example, I used to treat sleeping as an unavoidable down-time between days, not necessarily a deliberate activity that I proactively and deliberately prioritized. 

But rest is not merely the absence of work; it is an active state of renewal. "Wintering" encourages us to see rest as a period where we can recharge, reflect, and realign with ourselves. This can be as small as practicing meditation, setting aside time for reading, or prioritizing getting eight hours of quality sleep. It can be as big (and perhaps radical) as taking a sabbatical, unplugging during any non-work times, observing a sabbath, or spending a stay-cation reading. 

The demands of work and life require that we intentionally and mindfully recharge ourselves by being just as deliberate and intentional about resting as we are about other activities. 

Valuing and practicing self-care

Self-care is crucial for anyone, including people in demanding leadership roles. Despite that, I often see people putting their own health or self-care on the back-burner, much like they do with resting.  Attending your own well-being means setting clear boundaries; saying no to overcommitment; eating, exercising and sleeping well; and having your own support team (personal relationships, a therapist, doctors, etc). 

Self-care is not selfish; it's essential. (Remember that airplane oxygen mask?) 

Engaging in seasonal projects and celebrations

Finite projects that mirror the vibe of the season also provide a structured but restorative way to step back from the demands of work for folks who can’t relax unless they’re getting things done. Here are a few examples: crafting a winter reading list,  a spring gardening or closet-cleaning project, throwing a winter or summer solstice party, or setting up a better way to compost in the fall. Much like many religious holidays and traditions, seasonal projects and activities mirror the natural world's rhythms– keeping us connected to the bigger picture and hopefully reminding us us that there is a time for growth and a time for rest. Engaging in these sorts of personal projects outside of work provides a new way for unexpected and original ideas to emerge, too. 

Mending what matters

One of my former employees had a practice of mending or repairing an object ever week. She and her family had a box where items in need of repair would be placed, then selected to be worked on one at a time. The items ranged from broken alarm clocks or electronics to furniture to sweaters or socks with holes in them. Learning to fix things and spending time together working on these projects was baked into the fabric of her family’s daily life together. It creates a way to slow down, do something together, and avoid throwing out and buying more stuff.  

As I get older, I’m more interested in getting rid of things that don’t matter to me and taking care of what does matter to me. Ironing my mother’s old linen napkins, darning my favorite socks, or sewing a patch over some well-worn jeans are all practices that help me slow down and remind me of the value of objects. If I can do these things with a friend or family member that’s even better.

There are at least two reasons I suspect many people struggle to prioritize resting. The first is that doing so goes against many of society’s implicit messages around what it means to be productive. Secondly, many people seem to fear that if they slow down or take a break, things will come undone and disaster will strike. Both of these reasons reflect a worldview where people are treated like machines that will no longer be useful if they set boundaries, take a break, or do anything other than “produce”.  Unfortunately, that may be true of many— but it’s not true for everyone.

As you ride out this winter and start the new year, I hope you’ll take time to rest and care for yourself as best and realistically as you can, remembering that this is not a deviation from your path to success; it's an integral part of the journey.